According to TikTok, the only way to really tell if someone loves you is to ask them to, er, peel an orange for you. Over 46m users are weighing in on the viral “orange peel theory”. But this trend isn’t *actually* about oranges. The idea is that a small act of kindness, such as peeling an orange, can demonstrate how your other half shows up for you in a relationship.
The theory isn’t new though. It actually comes from relationship therapist, Dr John Gottman, and is an example of something called “bids”. A bid is “a request from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection.”
According to Gottman, women make more bids than men and perhaps there’s a reason for that – in a world where many relationships are characterised by weaponised incompetence, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that your man cares enough to do little things for you. Gottman says men sometimes struggle to pay attention to the nuances around small favours and the subtext behind them, but he does also say that in the healthiest relationships, both partners are comfortable making all kinds of bids.
“A partner's reaction to the request of peeling an orange can provide some insights into how they show up to a relationship.” explains Amber Brooks of DatingAdvice.com. “Do they question your motives? Do they feel too busy or too stressed to offer help? These questions matter beyond the small task of peeling an orange, and it is good for couples to think along these lines if they are serious about making a commitment and building a life together.”
Asking your partner, “can you pass me that? Could you open this for me? Could you make me a cup of tea?” might seem innocuous, but your partner’s response to a bid can tell you a lot about how supportive they are and how willing they are to make time for you and take your needs into account.
“Some people have off days, and decent partners might reasonably wonder if you have more time to peel your own orange.” explains Brooks. “The choice to peel or not peel isn't a long-term statement of character by any means. This is just one data point for daters to consider as they determine if their partner can meet their needs, from breakfast and beyond.”
Of course, not peeling an orange for you if they’re busy isn’t necessarily a red flag. It might not even be a beige flag, they simply might just not have the time or inclination. And let’s remember that not everyone expresses love in the same ways. We all have different love languages and communication styles and some people are more into small acts of service than others.
But Tiktokkers have wasted no time in putting the orange peel theory to the test, documenting their SO’s responses to little requests. Should you dump your boyfriend if he won’t peel an orange for you? Probably not, but according to relationship experts like Gottman, asking him for the occasional favour could give you an insight into how selfless he can be and, vice versa.
The gist: If your partner strips the rind off the citrus and serves it to you with kindness, then their love is for real. If your partner refuses, then this love is hollow and false, and you must now make a deal with a sea witch or reenter the dating pool.
The orange peel theory basically describes. that when your partner does an active service for you, that's something.that you are perfectly capable of doing on your own. This is for really small stuff, like, for example, peeling an orange.
To peel an orange for someone, unprompted, is to actively show you want to care for them and share, especially if the person handing the orange to you is perfectly capable of peeling the orange themselves. It's big "Acts of Service" love language energy, of course.
It refers to a relationship “test” many couples are using to gauge the strength of their partnership. The challenge calls for participants to ask their partner to peel an orange for them. If their significant other says yes, that means they are willing to help with small tasks.
The whole idea revolves around people asking their partners to peel an orange for them, a simple task they can do by themselves. According to the trend, an individual's willingness to perform the task can show their commitment towards their relationship.
TikTok seems to think so. A trend dubbed the “Orange Peel Theory” has been going viral on the social media platform, asking people to consider the ways small acts of service, such as peeling an orange for a partner or making coffee in the morning, can show an individual's commitment to their relationship.
One such task being, for example, peeling an orange for you, because you don't like doing it. According to the theory's proponents, your partner's response can be taken as a major indicator of the wider relationship – signifying whether someone is prepared to do things solely to make you happy.
Several different tests have trended this year. One of the most popular is the orange peel “theory” (we use the word very lightly here), in which the tester tells their partner they feel like eating an orange. Some partners simply acknowledge the comment, while others actually go and get an orange.
The idea behind this is that if you ask your partner to peel an orange for you and they say yes, it means that they have a positive attitude toward you and the relationship as a whole.
The name orange peel is given by the resemblance of the final paint finish to an orange peel. This problem is caused by the lack of stretching or levelling of the paint, resulting in a deformed surface and in an increased thickness of the final coat.
If your partner is willing to peel an orange for you, it means that they're prepared to make sacrifices to prioritize your happiness. Either that, or they've also heard of the viral relationship challenge on TikTok, and you're being played at your own game.
If your partner is willing to peel an orange for you, it means that they're prepared to make sacrifices to prioritize your happiness. Either that, or they've also heard of the viral relationship challenge on TikTok, and you're being played at your own game.
It originated in a slideshow of screenshots between exes, one of whom reminisces how “I miss when you would peel my oranges for me in the morning”. There is some sense to this analysis, since the smallest of acts carry a lot of weight in relationships whilst grand gestures can sometimes feel performative.
Introduction: My name is Neely Ledner, I am a bright, determined, beautiful, adventurous, adventurous, spotless, calm person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.
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