It’s a beautiful, aesthetic restaurant and you and your friend are sitting together after a really long time, catching up after the roller coaster of a ride that the pandemic has been! You are looking forward to eating a delicious, out-worldly non-vegetarian dish, because after all, food is love and that’s the reason you chose that restaurant. When you ask your friend what they are looking forward to order, they glance at the menu, look at you with shining eyes and a happy smile and utter out the name of an exquisite… vegetarian dish? And just like that, you are disappointed, at the reminder that your friend is a vegetarian.
Suddenly, you get this urge to show your friend the light, to introduce them to the delicious world of non-vegetarianism and to help them expand their options when eating out. It’s a noble cause, which is why it hurts me to tell you to control that urge and keep it to yourself.
As a vegetarian, I have had my fair share of people trying to help me “eat better food”, i.e., non-veg. But hear me out… I don’t want to eat the “better food”. And I know that on the flip side, there can be some vegetarians who try to guilt non-vegetarians and make them stop eating meat, and I am sure that that is equally annoying. But never in my life have I ever done that to anyone, and therefore, am usually just a recipient of this gesture of food choices mockery, and it is not fun.
And so, maybe even some vegetarians (and vegans) can learn something from this blog about what not to say to non-vegetarians. However, all I can do is speak from my experience. So here are some things you should not say to or do around your vegetarian friends!
Do not make them feel inferior because of their food choice. It happens quite a lot, more than even I want to admit, because some of the people closest to me do this. If you’re eating out with your vegetarian friend and you taste their dish, do not comment about how you are glad that you did not order anything vegetarian. It is a fact that most of the modern cafes have more non-veg options than veg ones, mostly because their food is inspired from other countries. I’m glad you have a lot of good options to choose from. But you do not need to make me feel bad for the food I am eating or worse, pity me because I am a vegetarian. It is infuriating. “I am so glad I eat non-veg because my dish is so much better!” Well, congratulations! But what you are eating is not superior food, so stop making it seem like it. It is not cool to do this, never was and never will be. Do I need to remind you of Pav Bhaji, Chhole Bhature, Gol Gappe?
Stop asking them what kind of meat they have tried and then ask them to try other types of meat. “Oh you have tried chicken? Well, try lamb, or mutton, or fish!” Why do you have the impulsive need to get vegetarians to eat meat? It’s not like I do not know that there are several different types of meat. But it is my conscious choice to not eat meat and nothing gives you the right to try and change it to something that you like better. You eat non-veg? Good for you! I eat vegetarian food? Good for me and for you, because it leaves more meat for you to consume. Why do you feel the need to get your choice validated in the form of making others choose the same thing?
Do not make them feel guilty. It has happened on more than one occasion with me where I was made to feel guilty that I was a vegetarian, because that meant that at least one dish that would be ordered on the table would have to be vegetarian. That automatically translates (somehow?) to there being one less non-veg dish to be ordered. But what is worse (and happens every single time!) is that when that vegetarian dish comes out, everyone has it while waiting for their non-veg dish. I mean, you’re making me feel (needlessly) guilty for causing you to order one less non-veg dish and then going ahead and having my dish anyway? Make it make sense!
This one is very important, so read this carefully. Do not go around asking every vegetarian (in India) if it is because of “religious reasons”. First of all, my reason for choosing vegetarianism is none of your business. Second, even if I am choosing vegetarianism due to my religion, it is still not your place to comment on. Growing up, my reason for being a vegetarian had nothing to do with religion. That led to me hearing a lot of relieved, “Oh. Thank God that you are not one of those dumb religious ones because that is just stupid!” I always laughed and let it go, because I was a dumb kid who did not know how to stand up for her own religion that she actually believes in. But here’s the thing – who are you to decide that me choosing to not eat non-veg for religious reasons is stupid? Again, it is my choice and therefore, not your place to comment. As long as I am not forcing you to change what diet you follow, you are not entitled to make a comment on mine.
I understand that food lovers want to spread the joy of delicious food to others, and I genuinely appreciate the sentiment. But please do not go around making others feel guilty for their choice of food. If they say they do not want to eat meat, please accept that response instead of asking if they have tried this dish or that. It is not hurting you in any way whatsoever, but it can hurt other people to see their food choice being so avidly critiqued for no valid reason at all.
In case some people did not know, there is no competition at all between veg and non-veg food lifestyles as to which would have more followers, so why is there a need to persuade others to abandon their path of choice and follow the other?
It is not hard to be respectful of other people’s choices. It’s up to us to make the world a better place.
