Relationships can be all about the little things - but should you focus on something as little as whether your partner will peel an orange for you?
New relationship trends go viral all the time, and it can be hard to know whether or not to take them seriously.
Here at KMA Therapy, we’re here to teach you the psychology behind the latest relationship trends and learn more about how they can apply to your life. For over 15 years, we’ve educated our clients and community on the tools they need to help their relationships thrive.
After reading this article, you’ll know what the Orange Peel Theory is, the psychology behind it, and three things it can tell you about your relationship.
What is the Orange Peel Theory?
The Orange Peel Theory is from a viral TikTok trend where you ask your partner to bring you an orange.
If they bring it to you peeled and ready to eat, it indicates that they’re thoughtful and caring.
If they bring it to you with the rind still on, then they may not be as considerate as you were hoping.
The Orange Peel Theory is the latest in a long line of viral relationship tests that don’t necessarily hold as much meaning as we give them (have you ever asked your partner if they “would still love you if you were a worm?”)
Still, it can be a fun way to explore the dynamics in your relationship and learn more about what you want from your partner.
What’s the Psychology Behind the Orange Peel Theory?
The psychology behind the Orange Peel Theory has been linked to love languages - specifically Acts of Service.
It’s related to the idea that your partner wants to do this act of service for you just because they care about you. They know you want an orange, so they want to make it easy for you to enjoy one.
Another psychological component of the Orange Peel Theory is the idea of reciprocity. Reciprocity in a relationship involves an exchange of support between partners - today, they’re peeling your orange and tomorrow, you’re making them a cup of coffee.
Some people have also linked their feelings about the Orange Peel Theory to experiences of hyper-independence.
The Orange Peel Theory and Hyper-Independence
If you’re struggling with hyper-independence, even the thought of asking someone to peel an orange for you can feel uncomfortable.
You know you can do it by yourself, so you don’t want to bother asking someone else to do even the smallest task for you.
Signs of being hyper-independent include:
- Avoiding seeking out help
- Tending to be a perfectionist
- Taking on a lot of responsibilities by yourself
- Feeling like you need to do everything on your own
- Avoiding close relationships or depending on others
The Orange Peel Theory has been helping people communicate about how their partners make them feel safe to ask for what they need - they’ll peel an orange for you without making you feel guilty or making you worry that you owe them something.
3 Things the Orange Peel Theory Can Tell You About Your Relationship
While the Orange Peel Theory may not be a real psychological test, it can be a fun way to explore these three dynamics in your relationship.
1. Love languages
Learning about your love languages can be a great way to figure out how you and your partner give and receive love in your relationships.
Love languages include:
- Gift-giving
- Quality time
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
- Words of affirmation
There are also two newer love languages: shared experiences and emotional security.
The Orange Peel Theory can be a great way to open up a conversation about love languages in your relationship.
Maybe your partner brought you an orange and sat with you while you peeled it and had a meal together. This might mean they value quality time in a relationship - they may not have thought to peel your orange, but they just wanted to spend time with you.
If you feel like you and your partner care a lot about each other but have a hard time showing it, it can be helpful to share what makes you feel loved and how you express your love.
2. Communication styles
The Orange Peel Theory can also help you learn more about how you communicate in your relationship.
If you’re relying on TikTok trends to let your partner know you want them to be more attentive, it might be time to try some new communication methods. (Many couples struggle with communication, so don’t feel bad!)
One way to open up about your relationship is to answer questions from the Gottman Method. These 27 relationship questions have been designed to help you and your partner learn more about each other, how you communicate, and establish your common goals.
Gottman questions include:
- What are you interested in now that you weren’t interested in last year?
- Can you recall a specific instance when you felt proud of us as a couple?
- Are there specific ways you prefer to connect or spend quality time together?
3. Areas to work on together
Ultimately, the Orange Peel Theory can help you learn more about the areas you want to work on in your relationship.
It can also point out the things that are already going great!
Improving your relationship doesn’t only mean erasing the bad things, it also means making more time for the good things.
If there’s something about the Orange Peel Theory that made you appreciate your partner, tell them.
If there’s something that came up that made you uncomfortable, make time to talk about it together and figure out what you both want to do differently.
Is it Bad to “Test” Your Partner?
It all depends on your mindset. The Orange Peel Theory can be a fun way to bond with your partner over how they react to doing you a favour, or it can be a way to set your partner up to fail.
You may be in a great relationship with someone who didn’t peel your orange - and this doesn’t mean your relationship is headed in the wrong direction.
Be honest with yourself.
If you’re deciding to test out the Orange Peel Theory on your partner because you’re looking for a way to confirm that they aren’t treating you right, then you aren’t going into it with the right intentions.
If you feel like you need to test your partner to bring up issues in your relationship, it can be a sign that there are already underlying problems between the two of you.
Should You Try Couples Counselling?
Using the Orange Peel Theory can be a fun way to explore new areas of your relationship with your partner.
But if you’re constantly feeling the need to test your relationship, this can be a sign that speaking to a couples counsellor might be helpful.
Next Steps for Healthy Relationships
After reading this article, you know how the Orange Peel Theory can impact your relationship and three areas to explore with your partner.
Here at KMA Therapy, we’ve been helping our clients find and build the fulfilling relationships they deserve for over 15 years.
If you’re curious about working with a relationship therapist (independently or with your partner), fill out our Registration Form for more information.
You can also take our Attachment Styles Quiz to learn more about how you feel in relationships.
If you’d prefer to keep reading, check out these articles to learn more:
- What is the Gottman Method? Pros and Cons
- The Best Self-Love Tips – Based on Your Love Language
About the Author
Emily Weatherhead has a Masters in Community Psychology from Wilfrid Laurier University, where her research focused on improving post-secondary student mental health. She is passionate about finding new ways to make mental health research more accessible and break down the barriers that prevent people from receiving mental health care.
